DAY 293: I'M A DREAMER

   I had a doctor appointment the other day and she asked me if I had any concerns.  I told her that I’ve self-diagnosed myself with narcolepsy.  I explained that I tend to nod off during meetings and lectures where I’m not actively doing something and that I really have to focus on driving when I’m going to work in the morning since I’m so tired. 

     Of course I was being dramatic when I used the word narcolepsy.  I don’t think I really have it.  But I do think I’m tired ALL THE TIME.  And it’s really starting to bother me.  My doctor said she could refer me to a neurologist or she could prescribe me a sleep aid. I told her I don’t think we’re at the neurologist stage and she said that she didn’t want to discount my concern if I truly think there’s a neurological issue.  Then she asked me if I sleep through the night.  “No,” I told her, “I wake up at least once during the night to go to the bathroom.”  Then she asked me “do you dream?”  I liked this question.  “Yes, I dream a lot.  I can remember my dreams from the night before.”

     Apparently, this wasn’t the best answer.  If you dream a lot it means you’re not getting into a deep sleep, which means you’re not getting a good night’s rest.  This is my problem in a nutshell.  I don’t get a goodnight’s rest.  And waking up at 5:30 a.m. to go to the gym isn’t helping me either.  So I took the prescription for Ambien.  But I’m scared to fill it and even more scared to take it.  I’ve heard stories about the crazy things people do while they are on Ambien and how they don’t remember cooking an entire meal or batch of cookies in their sleep.  I don’t want that to be me.   

     My friends recommend taking the highest dosage of melatonin that I can buy.  Since it’s a natural sleep aid, they think I should try that first before going for the hard stuff a/k/a Ambien.  I think I will.  I’ll go to Whole Foods tonight and buy a bottle of sleep.  I truly wish someone would create and market sleep (not just a bottle of pills that may or may not help you to get to sleep or may or may not make you cook or knit or send crazy text messages) in a jar—I’d buy some.