DAY 309: TO THE NINES

     I used to get dressed up in high school to take tests.  I thought I'd do better on the test if I dressed well. Little tip--it works!

DAY 308: BOEING BOEING

     My dad used to work as an engineer for G.E. where he made aircraft engines.  His brother, also an engineer, worked for Boeing, where he made planes.  Put the two together and what do you get?  A big fat 747.
     I saw the play Boeing Boeing tonight and it was such a good time and so funny.  Glad I saw it.

DAY 307: LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT

     Whoop, whoop!  I was jonesing for the iPod 3, but I won a $50 gift card for Target instead.  I was at an event with a raffle tonight.  The grand prize and the big draw was an iPad 3.  I of course did not win it.  But I won something.  So there.

DAY 306: GOING TO THE MATTRESSES

     Why are there so many mattress sales on Memorial Day?  I didn't buy one today, but I might as well have with all the clothes and shoes I bought.  I wonder how they came up with the saying "going to the mattresses" in the movie the Godfather.  Apparently, it means preparing for battle, which is how I felt at going from store to store at the mall today.  There were swarms of people everywhere.

DAY 305: GLEE GRADUATION

     I just watched the Glee graduation episode and cried all the way through it.  Two questions:  why am I such a sap? and why is Rachel wearing a red pillbox hat when she arrives in New York City?

DAY 304: WHAT IS IN THIS STUFF?

     What are the ingredients in deodorant that makes it feel so weird when it gets on your hands?  You know, we've all gotten deodorant on one of our hands and then tried to wash it off...but it won't come off and it feels so weird.  I guess it just absorbs and can't wash off, or feels like it won't.  So glad we put that stuff under our armpits.

DAY 303: HELLO BUGS

     I was thrilled today when I learned that someone at my workplace has bed bugs.  What a great way to start off the three day weekend!  Love it.

DAY 302: MAN ALIVE MEMPHIS

     I’m going to see the musical Memphis tonight.  I’m hoping the show is better than the experience I had in the actual city of Memphis.  First, it was freezing cold when I went there in March—as in snowing cold.  I had to wear earmuffs to Graceland.  Second, my friend and I got into a fight, which led to screaming on Beale Street and not in a good or fun way (for the record my friend was screaming at me, not vice versa, while drunk strangers walked by staring at and feeling sorry for me—I could see the pity in their eyes).  Third, blisters.  I got a big one and then made the excellent choice of popping it (more like cutting it).  And then there was blood. 

     If any of that takes place in the show before intermission, I reserve the right of walk out of the theater.  I don’t think any of that will happen since I heard Memphis is a love story.  But you just never know.

DAY 301: THAT DARN LDL

     I have high cholesterol.  It's a fact.  It's also hereditary.  The results of my annual blood work came in today and my cholesterol is worse than I thought it would be.  Much worse.
     The first time I had my cholesterol checked was during college.  My numbers were as high as my dad's, and he'd just had a triple bypass.  (For the record, today's results weren't that high.  But they're close.)  To turn those test results around, I decided to stop eating red meat and cheese.  My cholesterol went down and I lost 10 pounds.  In fact, my cholesterol lowered so much that my doctor said it looked like I used to be a smoker and had stopped smoking (and I'd never even smoked a cigarette, still haven't thank you very much).
     My doctor has never wanted to put me on cholesterol medication because I'm of "childbearing years." So I've always just controlled it with diet.  Apparently, my "control" hasn't been so good lately, because we (and by we I mean I) are definitely in the red.  Deep red.  I need to get it together.  I think I'll go make myself feel better by eating a grilled cheese sandwich and thinking about how I'll change my diet.  Yeah that'll work.  Now you see why I have a problem.

DAY 300: BULK AISLES

     I love going grocery shopping when the grocery store isn't crowded.  I especially love shopping at Central Market.  On a Tuesday night there's no line to buy poultry or fish, all the free samples still sit in their pretty and unwrinkled wax paper doilies, and no one is crowding up the bulk aisles...except that little kid and her mom.
     I swear, every aisle I went down or end cap I went to look at or take a sample from tonight was already occupied by this little girl and her mom.  So then I end up looking like a goober waiting to try some French bread or to weigh my apples on the scale.  And yes, I'm highly aware that even getting excited about and wanting to try all the samples at the grocery makes me a goober, but hey I'm ok with that.  I was not ok with waiting for that little girl and her mom to try everything right before me.  And that's the problem with going to the grocery store hungry or in my case right before dinner.

DAY 299: I AM A BALLER

     I'm a baller.  Literally.  I received the following email from my gym today:

“Congratulations on checking in and working it out at Equinox 15 times since May 1. We're paying tribute to our most dedicated members by providing digital badges to share online. You just reached Baller status.  Come to the club 15 more times and you'll be a Player. And keep it up, 35 more check-ins and you will be MVP.”

     I just think of it as getting my money’s worth for my gym membership.  That place is so expensive I can’t justify not going there.  And if that makes me a baller, well, then so be it.  I wish being a baller made me more in shape. 

DAY 298: TONI'S HOME

     I started listening (book on cd) to Toni Morrison's latest book Home, but I can't get into it.  Ms. Morrison herself is reading the audio book, which you'd think would make it that much better.  However, I keep turning it off in the car and switching to a radio station to listen to music instead.
     I feel bad, even disrespectful saying this, but there's something about the way she's reading it--it seems too slow to me.  I'm going to give it another go and if that doesn't work I'll just go buy the book and read it instead of listen to it.  The book's gotten raves reviews, so it must be good, right?

DAY 297: DEFINING STRONG

     I went to a golf tournament yesterday.  Since most of the people weren't really into watching the golf game, the main requirement for one's attendance at this event was that he or she be "strong," as in a strong drinker.  And that's pretty much all that needs to be said and the reason this post is a day late...you do the math.

DAY 296: THE BOB FOSSE WALK

     I learned the "Bob Fosse Walk" today.  My gym held a special dance class called Dance It Out.  Billy Blanks Jr--I'm guessing his dad must be Billy Blanks, the guy who did all those Tae Bo videos--and his wife Sharon Catherine Blanks taught the dance class.  It was great and a good workout.  Mr. Blanks said you could burn 700 to 1,000 calories in one class.  Good to know.
     Then at the end of the class they taught us a Broadway number.  The entire class learned the Fosse Walk to the music from All That Jazz, the song in the musical Chicago.  Pretty sexy stuff.  It's not really a walk, it's more like a strut.

DAY 295: DRESS CODES

     Do you have self-imposed dress codes?  For example, when I was growing up and my family traveled by plane, we all had to wear nice clothes.  Basically we’d wear the same clothes that we’d wear to Friday night services, which meant my mom, sister and I wore dresses and my dad wore a suit. 

     Of course there was always the first day of school, which I thought meant you always had to wear something brand new (it’s not really the first day of school unless you’re cutting the tags off of a new article of clothing, right?). 

     Then there’s meeting someone’s parents.  For me, no matter if it’s one of my girlfriend’s parents or some guy I’m dating’s parents, I always try to wear a dress or a skirt and a top.  I want to be seen as and remembered as a lady.    

     And interviews, for me it’s a suit, always a suit—hey, I’m a lawyer, that’s how we roll.  But here in Texas if you’re a woman, you’d better wear a skirt suit and no bare legs.  Seriously.  Even if you never ever intend to wear pantyhose to work, you’d still better wear them to the interview under your skirt. 

DAY 294: BRAT DIET

     I'm on the BRAT diet.  It stands for bananas, rice, applesauce and toast.  A girl in my office didn't come into work yesterday because she woke up sick and thought she had food poisoning.  I've been feeling queasy since yesterday, achy and have a headache, but no fever.  Since we all eat the same food for one meal a day, our office caters in lunch everyday, I think I might have what she had.
     So I've put myself on this diet, ok fine, a modified BRAT diet, in the hopes that I will feel better when I wake up tomorrow.  Please let me feel better tomorrow.  At first I thought this was just Texas allergies because my throat hurts too, now I'm just not sure what's wrong and I need to go to sleep.

DAY 293: I'M A DREAMER

   I had a doctor appointment the other day and she asked me if I had any concerns.  I told her that I’ve self-diagnosed myself with narcolepsy.  I explained that I tend to nod off during meetings and lectures where I’m not actively doing something and that I really have to focus on driving when I’m going to work in the morning since I’m so tired. 

     Of course I was being dramatic when I used the word narcolepsy.  I don’t think I really have it.  But I do think I’m tired ALL THE TIME.  And it’s really starting to bother me.  My doctor said she could refer me to a neurologist or she could prescribe me a sleep aid. I told her I don’t think we’re at the neurologist stage and she said that she didn’t want to discount my concern if I truly think there’s a neurological issue.  Then she asked me if I sleep through the night.  “No,” I told her, “I wake up at least once during the night to go to the bathroom.”  Then she asked me “do you dream?”  I liked this question.  “Yes, I dream a lot.  I can remember my dreams from the night before.”

     Apparently, this wasn’t the best answer.  If you dream a lot it means you’re not getting into a deep sleep, which means you’re not getting a good night’s rest.  This is my problem in a nutshell.  I don’t get a goodnight’s rest.  And waking up at 5:30 a.m. to go to the gym isn’t helping me either.  So I took the prescription for Ambien.  But I’m scared to fill it and even more scared to take it.  I’ve heard stories about the crazy things people do while they are on Ambien and how they don’t remember cooking an entire meal or batch of cookies in their sleep.  I don’t want that to be me.   

     My friends recommend taking the highest dosage of melatonin that I can buy.  Since it’s a natural sleep aid, they think I should try that first before going for the hard stuff a/k/a Ambien.  I think I will.  I’ll go to Whole Foods tonight and buy a bottle of sleep.  I truly wish someone would create and market sleep (not just a bottle of pills that may or may not help you to get to sleep or may or may not make you cook or knit or send crazy text messages) in a jar—I’d buy some. 

DAY 292: RECALL STUSSY

     Does anyone remember those Stussy hats everyone wore in high school in the 1990s?  Why were they so popular?  And do you know anyone who still wears one?  I remember begging my dad to buy me one while we were on family vacation in Miami.  I just had to have one.  Then I had to break it in and get the brim perfectly shaped before I could actually wear it to school.  Man, the stuff we do to be in style.

DAY 291: FOCUSING ON THE IDIOT

     Today is Mother's Day.  It has been one of my least favorite days since my mom died when I was ten.  So today I'm going to focus on the idiot.  The American Idiot.  My friend and I are going to see the musical American Idiot based on Green Day's music tonight.  Then when I get home I'll be able to call my grandma who lives in India.  It'll already be tomorrow in Delhi and not Mother's Day when I call her, but that's the best I can do with the eleven plus hour time difference.

DAY 290: CRAWLING FOR CANCER

     Well we didn't really do any crawling today.  But there was lots of walking and some dancing during our pub crawl to raise money for cancer charities.  The most ironic thing about the crawl was the smoking factor.  Two girls on our team lit up cigarettes and smoke several of them at every one of our bar stops.  I realize the beer part is weird enough when raising money for cancer, but smoking...come on, don't those girls know about lung cancer?

DAY 289: SMELLY GOLD

     According to my father the dentist—scratch that, my dad was an aircraft engineer, he never went near anyone’s teeth.  Let’s try again, according to my father the engineer, who knew little to nothing about mouths or teeth, swore that people who had gold fillings had bad breath.  It was an equation of sorts for him: if you had a gold filling you probably had bad breath.  Gold filling = bad breath (all the time).

     I had dinner with a dentist the other night and I mentioned my dad’s theory to him.  He looked at me like I was pretty much crazy and that my dad was probably an even bigger nut job.  The dentist assured (he literally used the word “assure”) me that gold fillings don’t cause bad breath.  He went on to say that gold fillings are stronger than porcelain ones; porcelain ones are always chipping and breaking.  He said that precious metal fillings tend to last longer and that you can always ask for precious metal underneath your porcelain crown. 

     “But what about the bad breath?” I urged.  The dentist wouldn’t give in or even placate me or my dad’s crazy philosophy.   Even though I really, truly want to believe the dentist—he is a trained professional, who even learned how to cast his own gold crowns in dental school—I’m unable to think my dad was wrong on this one.  So I’m going to have to go with my gut…did I mention my ex-step monster had gold crowns?  Exactly.  Or rather smelly.   

DAY 288: RUNNING KARMA

     My streak of good karma has officially started.  Tonight I'm running a 5K.  It's the first race I've run since that stupid Spartan Race where I fell and hurt my elbow.  Wish me luck.  If I fall on the mud less ground while it's not raining, then I have some serious balance problems that we'll need to look into.
     More importantly, there's a party after tonight's 5K with lots of food booths and music (why else do you think I signed up for this dreaded race?).  But one needs a bracelet to get into the food tent party.  In my packet for the race, along with my race t-shirt and a couple of freebies, were TWO bracelets to the food tent party.  I mean is that the start of some good karma or what?!  I realize this isn't the biggest deal but it's the little things that count, or least add up, so I'm starting to count them.  I gave that extra bracelet away to someone who can't run but will come to the food party. 

DAY 287: RETURN TO THE JURY ROOM

     So I had jury duty today...again.  I was just there.  Ok, well not there, there.  This was in civil court, not metro court like last time.  Either way, they kept us there awhile, picked a bunch of people to go to certain courts.  But not me.  Then they finally came back (hours later) and said "we have some good news" and dismissed us all.  I could've played hooky and gone back home or to the pool, but I ended up going to work.  Man, all this good behavior better result in some good karma soon!

DAY 286: MORE TALK

     Someone from Tawkify contacted me again (see Day 181 if you want the background on this).  The messages are so funny; I just had to share this latest one:

Miss xxxxx---You Splendid Woman!

Alas, no call from Mr. Brooks tonight. E. Jean, Kenneth and I apologize for the pain we're causing you by making you wait as we interview chaps worthy of your allure and grace. As Jane Austen said: "There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time," and we want to make sure we bring you that moment!"

You may call me any time at xxx-xxx-xxxx.

I remain, dear Lady, Ever Your Servant,

Charlee

Official Go-Between

http://www.tawkify.com/

I will be so surprised if I ever get the call one is supposed to get from this site.

DAY 285: IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE MUSIC

     When I was little I lived for the Muppet Show and all of the Muppet movies.  I didn't get sad or even care if my parents were going out on a Saturday night and leaving me and my sister with a babysitter.  The Muppet Show was coming on and I could NOT miss the opening song.  For some nostalgia, I rented The Muppets--a recently released movie. 
     I'm having some trouble getting into the movie.  I don't think the songs are as good as the ones I remember loving and singing along to when I was younger.  But I'm going to give it another shot and try to get through the movie.  Kermit and Miss Piggy are in it, so it has to be good, right?

DAY 284: CAP'N CRUNCH MOUTH

     (I know there are 2 entires on this day--Sunday, May 6--but time got away from me yesterday...)

     As a breakfast treat to myself, sometimes I buy Cap'n Crunch or Crunch Berries cereal.  The only problem with eating that yummy cereal is how it roughs up the roof of my mouth.  I don't know what it is but the grains of the cereal rub against the ridges of my mouth and make me almost wish I hadn't eaten the cereal in the first place.  Almost.

DAY 283: GET DERBY WITH US

     Get Derby With Us is the title of the Kentucky Derby Party I co-hosted today with my friends.  It was a huge success.  I drank a ton of bourbon and several juleps of all varieties--not just mint.  Another friend made simple syrup in the blackberry, mango-basil, grapefruit-honey, and skinny mint flavors. What an overachiever.  We were planning on just regular old mint, but it was so much more than that.  I'll have another thank you very much.  And how a propos that I'll Have Another won the Derby!

DAY 282: ALLERGY SHOTS

     Bend over and brace yourself.  I had to hear that yesterday when I got a shot in my tush--right cheek if you wanted to know the exact location.  My allergies are terrible.  I have a sinus infection.  My doctor said the infection had gotten so bad that an injection, I think it was a steroid shot, would make me fell better faster, along with the antibiotics and decongestant she'd prescribed. She was right.  I started to feel better even though I'm still stopped up, feel achy and have a headache.

     But I'd like to point out this always happens before some big event or party I'm throwing.  Tomorrow I'm co-hosting a Kentucky Derby Party.  Before my 30th Birthday Party, I had to get two steroid shots and go on antibiotics because of a sinus infection.  Enough already.  What's going on up in there in my nose, ears and head or out there in the Dallas weather?

DAY 281: KNOWING THROUGH DOING

     I went to a private school from sixth grade until twelfth grade.  There were 120 kids in my graduating class.  And I'd known the majority of them since I was twelve.  That's one of the reasons I wanted to go to a big college far away from home.  I wanted to meet new people--people who hadn't known me for seven years.
     Tonight my school had a happy hour for alumni in the Dallas Ft. Worth area.  Almost 200 alumni live here, but less than 15 people showed up at the happy hour.  It was a little disappointing.  But it was good to catch up with the people who were there.  One guy from my class was there.  I didn't even know he lives in Texas.  I guess that's what happens when you grow up and lose touch.  But I'll soon find out lots more things about my classmates, since my twenty year reunion is in two years.  Two years.  Oh dear.
     The motto of the school is scientia ad faciendum, which means knowing through doing.  I saw that Latin phrase several times a day for seven years and I had to look it up today to remember how it translated.  During my search, I also found that my school has a Wikipedia page.  Pretty big time, huh?  I thought so.

DAY 280: BABY SITTERS

     I used to love that movie Adventures in Babysitting with Elizabeth Shue.  Tonight I watched the movie The Sitter with Jonah Hill.  It's the same movie, 15 or 20 years later, except a boy is the babysitter and not a girl.  It's a pretty good plot line in terms of a money maker--bring in some young person who has nothing to do on a Saturday night and get him or her to babysit some messed up kids and you've got a movie.  I wasn't expecting The Sitter to be any good, but I was pleasantly surprised.  I like that Jonah  Hill.
     Personal anecdote: the kids I used to babysit are all grown up now.  One graduated high school last year and his sister is graduating at the end of this month.  Man, time flies.  

DAY 279: PHONE VOICES

I appreciate a sexy phone voice.  Enough said.