DAY 138: PEOPLE PLEASERS

     I’ve met a whole bunch of people pleasers recently.  Maybe the statistics are skewed since I live in the South and people are raised to be nice here.  But I doubt it.

     The people pleasers I’ve met seem to behave the way they do from some inside place, some inherent plea to be liked or feel wanted.  Not because their mommas insisted that they always be polite.  Why do something you don’t want to do or have no interest in doing just so you can make someone else happy?  Yes, sometimes we all do this.  It’s called being altruistic or sympathetic, but to do this all time is annoying at the least and pathetic at best.

     I sent someone a business opportunity because I thought s/he needed the cash or liked doing that kind of worked needed to increase his/her skill set.  Turns out the only reason this person accepted the business opportunity was because s/he thought that’s what I wanted him/her to do, not because s/he really wanted to do the project, needed to do it financially or any other sane reason.  I only sent it to the person because it was an opportunity plain and simple.  I was acting as the vehicle to bring this opportunity to this person. I had no hidden agenda and could care less if s/he took the opportunity or not.

     It bewilders me to deal with people like this.  If they’re only doing things they do to make you happy, when do they do things for themselves?  When do they stop being doormats and start being assertive in their own lives?  And for the record, I never said “it would make me happy if you took this opportunity.”  All I did was present the opportunity and hoped the person could make up his/her own mind—like an adult.

     Just because someone sends me a client, doesn’t mean I’ll take it.  Just because someone sets me up on a date, doesn’t mean I’ll go on it.  Just because someone asks me to go to something or see a certain movie doesn’t mean I’ll just say yes without thinking about it and if I really want to do that activity.  Time is precious and I don’t have a lot of it.  I need to be selective and conscientious of what I’m doing or I’ll get burnt out and resentful of the people I keep saying yes to.  However, these people pleasers can’t do that.  They don’t say no, or it tears them up too much to express any sort of differing point of view or refusal to an invitation.  How can people live like this?  It’s crazy to me.