Saturday, November 5, 2011


     I miss my mom today plain and simple.  I wish I knew her as an adult.  I wish she was here to have conversations with me and I could ask her questions.  I feel jipped.  I didn't get enough time with her.
     When my sister and I talk about our mother we refer to her as "Mommy" never mom.  I think it's because we were both so young when she died.  I was 10 and my sister was 7.  And when she was diagnosed with leukemia we were 7 and 4.  At those ages we still called our mother Mommy and we've really never stopped.  It's as if that time stopped for us on that day in 1986 when she died and no matter how far away we get from it we can't really grow up/or never were able to grow up in any sort of normal way because our lives were altered so dramatically.  I mean if she never got sick and was still here, I can bet you good money neither my sister nor I would still be calling our mother Mommy, she'd be "Mom."  No women in their 30s call their moms "mommy," it'd just be too weird.
     Anyway, it doesn't really matter what I'd call her, I just miss her.  

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