Wednesday, September 14, 2011


     I've been wanting to dress up as Mr. Peanut for Halloween the past 2 years and haven't found the right costume.  But I'll be damned if I don't get that perfect yellow peanut costume this year.  I just have to sport a monocle and twirl a cane.  I'll sexify this masculine ensemble with black fish net stockings and red lipstick.  This is my version of androgyny--don't judge.  It's worked for me before.
     The first year I lived in Dallas, I knew no one.  So when I was invited to a Halloween party I decided to go (by myself), but decided last minute.  I didn't have a store bought costume.  So I made my own, the best I could under the circumstances.  I went as a man.  I slicked back my hair, wore brown pleated trousers (sadly these were my own), a white button down, my dad's suit vest, and topped it off with a fedora.  Oh and I gave myself a mustache--who knew that's what eyeliner was for?
     I showed up at this girl's house party, a she as a he.  The girls dressed up (in a group) as their worst bridesmaids dresses ever started at me in horror.  They whispered "what girl dresses like a boy on Halloween?" thinking to themselves you know this is the only holiday where its permissible for a woman to dress a sluts and whores, you know naughty cops, sexy doctors, beer maids, you name it and she came as a man.  Well I'll tell you what girl dresses like a boy, pencils in her own mustache and wears loafers instead of stilettos--a girl who could give a care, that's who.
     And you wanna know what, guess who liked this girl dressed like a guy?  Another party-goer, a male party-goer.  And if memory serves, his interest in me lasted 2 dates--not too shabby for a last minute costume/gender change.

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