Tuesday, August 30, 2011


     Just ask my prom date from junior year who so aptly pointed out that my thumbs look like toes.
     (Thank you Mr. Z.  Would now be a good time to mention that I knew my prom date back when we were young, him 3 and me 4, or around then, and that my future Mr. high school junior prom date used to wet the bed?  His top bunk bed had plastic sheets on it.  And how do I know this?  Because our moms were in the baby-sitting co-op together and my mom traded an index card or two or a half of one--they were pastels, sort of, a light green card was an hour and a light orange card was 1/2 and hour or vice versa--with his mom for some baby-sitting time while she ran some errands.  Mr. Z--your mom baby sat me and I smelled your urine soaked or urine-pooled bed sheets.  I had to flee your room.)  
     Before then my sister and I (she only has 1 toe-like-thumb, but it still counts.  Our grandma cut her thumb nails to try and rid her of her wide thumbs.  It was so painful an experience, that my grandma never dared try to cut the other thumb nail.  She only got to one of my sister's thumbs.  My sister may deny this story, but I swear to you I was there, I saw the nail clipper and heard her screams.) called my thumbs "wide thumbs."  They're short and fat with wide nails that look like they're missing a joint.  But they're not.  They're just short and wide.  So wide that they look like toes.
     Go around with thumbs like that for a while and you'll see that people start to notice them.  The obvious people who notice are manicurists.  I just had a manicure and the manicurist said "my brother has thumbs like that."  It's akin, but not really, to the comment "oh, I have a gay cousin"--there's always someone out there who has one.
    I know that my great-aunt, my grandma's sister, had thumbs like me.  When I see other wide-thumbed people we smile and rejoice.  It always feel good to meet someone that has something you have...even if it's an appendage that should look like one thing but doesn't.

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